Teenagers are famous for rebelling against all sorts of authority because they want to find their own way in life. A teenage girl brought up in the face of alcoholism can add to her chaotic whirlwind of hormones, emotions, and rebellion. Imagine this girl reaching out for support from her mother because she was raped by her drunk step father only to find she was left standing alone to defend herself and deal with the trauma all alone. This one moment changed a girl’s life forever more.
Her mother didn’t believe anything she had to say. She was left standing alone, afraid, confused, and with an overwhelming feeling of filth inside of her. From that day forward she lost herself. Her escape from reality was found in drugs, alcohol, and sex. Her parents were now dealing with so much more than the normal teenage rebellion. Who was to blame for this? This girl needed someone to love her, to protect her, to hold her and tell her everything is going to be ok and that she didn’t cause or deserve this horrible crime that was done to her. Unfortunately, she didn’t get any of those things. She never spoke of that incident again. Her family continued to live as if nothing had happened. They didn’t want to feed into whatever attention or sympathy the teenage girl was trying to gain.
This girl surrounded herself with people that didn’t have a care in the world. She was surrounded by thugs and drunks. She had a false sense of acceptance from her group of friends. She was outgoing and fearless for once in her life and people gave her plenty of attention for it. This gave her the courage to eventually break away from her parents’ control. So she dropped out of high school and joined the armed services as soon as she was able to. For the first time she felt free. This freedom did not last long. She continued to seek solace and comfort in the arms of various men to help her self esteem. This was the only way she felt love and the only way she knew to show it. Unfortunately that kind of love came with a price. She ended up pregnant and when she confronted the father he denied any possibility of involvement. Again, the girl was left standing alone, afraid, confused, and with an overwhelming feeling of filth inside of her. She wondered what was wrong with her, why doesn’t anyone love her, why is she always alone?
Slowly she finally picked up the pieces and tried to move forward the best way she knew how. She decided to change her ways. She gave up the drugs and alcohol. Eventually, she met a man that took her in. He didn’t seem to mind she was pregnant. She was very young and very pretty. For the first time in a long time she felt loved. When the baby was born he even put his name on the birth certificate claiming to be the baby’s father, even though he wasn’t. They seemed so happy. By her third pregnancy, things changed. Her husband no longer loved her and couldn’t give a good reason why. They fought all the time. She felt lost and confused again. She learned he had been seeking solace in another young lady’s arms. Seems he preyed on very young innocent women. In the end, she was left standing alone, afraid, confused, and with three children to care for this time. How in the world is she going to be able to this all alone?
She picked up the pieces once more and moved forward. This time working several jobs to make ends meet. Unfortunately, she didn’t have much time to spend with her babies because it was very hard being a single parent to three little precious babies. She did the best she could with what she had to work with. Although she tried, she still lacked the self esteem to break the chain that had been handed to her. She still continued to seek for love the only way she knew how to show it. She wanted and needed to get out of the hell she had been in since she was a teenager. The kids continued to stay at the baby sitter’s while she worked and tried to find a decent companion that would love her for who she is and would somehow help her out of her personal hell she has been living in. She did find a man that seemed decent, but he also had a lot of baggage himself. It took her some time to open up enough to let him in but she finally gave in. He loved her unconditionally. This was something she had been missing her entire life. She knew her babies also loved her unconditionally but somehow felt that wasn’t enough.
So she eventually married again and he was a good father to her children. He was also a great husband and loved her unconditionally. Something she never felt she ever had before. She finally was able to enjoy life a little and spend quality time with her babies. She had the added responsibility of raising not just her kids but his also. After some time passed, this proved to be a difficult task even for love. She found it hard to be truthful when it came to money. She wanted her husband to be happy no matter the cost. She made some pretty hard decisions and wasn’t always honest when she needed to be. She changed because she was so afraid of losing that unconditional love she longed for her entire life. The lies she told came easier and easier and eventually it became so hard to figure out the lies from the truth. She changed to guard herself from any danger she felt. She had to have total control because there was no way she was going to be left standing alone and confused ever again.
So the question is when does responsibility for our actions set in? This girl had been broken due to her parents’ inability to stand up and take responsibility in protecting their child. This girl showed so much potential all she needed was love and understanding. At some point though, we all have to face our demons and our past and take responsibility for the choices we make in life. We can’t use our past as an excuse for our decisions in life forever. So when is it that the blame switches? We all make mistakes in life, some worse than others. However, there is so much to gain when you own the mistakes and do your best to make things right. I admire those that struggle from such situations and somehow find peace and happiness.
Her mother didn’t believe anything she had to say. She was left standing alone, afraid, confused, and with an overwhelming feeling of filth inside of her. From that day forward she lost herself. Her escape from reality was found in drugs, alcohol, and sex. Her parents were now dealing with so much more than the normal teenage rebellion. Who was to blame for this? This girl needed someone to love her, to protect her, to hold her and tell her everything is going to be ok and that she didn’t cause or deserve this horrible crime that was done to her. Unfortunately, she didn’t get any of those things. She never spoke of that incident again. Her family continued to live as if nothing had happened. They didn’t want to feed into whatever attention or sympathy the teenage girl was trying to gain.
This girl surrounded herself with people that didn’t have a care in the world. She was surrounded by thugs and drunks. She had a false sense of acceptance from her group of friends. She was outgoing and fearless for once in her life and people gave her plenty of attention for it. This gave her the courage to eventually break away from her parents’ control. So she dropped out of high school and joined the armed services as soon as she was able to. For the first time she felt free. This freedom did not last long. She continued to seek solace and comfort in the arms of various men to help her self esteem. This was the only way she felt love and the only way she knew to show it. Unfortunately that kind of love came with a price. She ended up pregnant and when she confronted the father he denied any possibility of involvement. Again, the girl was left standing alone, afraid, confused, and with an overwhelming feeling of filth inside of her. She wondered what was wrong with her, why doesn’t anyone love her, why is she always alone?
Slowly she finally picked up the pieces and tried to move forward the best way she knew how. She decided to change her ways. She gave up the drugs and alcohol. Eventually, she met a man that took her in. He didn’t seem to mind she was pregnant. She was very young and very pretty. For the first time in a long time she felt loved. When the baby was born he even put his name on the birth certificate claiming to be the baby’s father, even though he wasn’t. They seemed so happy. By her third pregnancy, things changed. Her husband no longer loved her and couldn’t give a good reason why. They fought all the time. She felt lost and confused again. She learned he had been seeking solace in another young lady’s arms. Seems he preyed on very young innocent women. In the end, she was left standing alone, afraid, confused, and with three children to care for this time. How in the world is she going to be able to this all alone?
She picked up the pieces once more and moved forward. This time working several jobs to make ends meet. Unfortunately, she didn’t have much time to spend with her babies because it was very hard being a single parent to three little precious babies. She did the best she could with what she had to work with. Although she tried, she still lacked the self esteem to break the chain that had been handed to her. She still continued to seek for love the only way she knew how to show it. She wanted and needed to get out of the hell she had been in since she was a teenager. The kids continued to stay at the baby sitter’s while she worked and tried to find a decent companion that would love her for who she is and would somehow help her out of her personal hell she has been living in. She did find a man that seemed decent, but he also had a lot of baggage himself. It took her some time to open up enough to let him in but she finally gave in. He loved her unconditionally. This was something she had been missing her entire life. She knew her babies also loved her unconditionally but somehow felt that wasn’t enough.
So she eventually married again and he was a good father to her children. He was also a great husband and loved her unconditionally. Something she never felt she ever had before. She finally was able to enjoy life a little and spend quality time with her babies. She had the added responsibility of raising not just her kids but his also. After some time passed, this proved to be a difficult task even for love. She found it hard to be truthful when it came to money. She wanted her husband to be happy no matter the cost. She made some pretty hard decisions and wasn’t always honest when she needed to be. She changed because she was so afraid of losing that unconditional love she longed for her entire life. The lies she told came easier and easier and eventually it became so hard to figure out the lies from the truth. She changed to guard herself from any danger she felt. She had to have total control because there was no way she was going to be left standing alone and confused ever again.
So the question is when does responsibility for our actions set in? This girl had been broken due to her parents’ inability to stand up and take responsibility in protecting their child. This girl showed so much potential all she needed was love and understanding. At some point though, we all have to face our demons and our past and take responsibility for the choices we make in life. We can’t use our past as an excuse for our decisions in life forever. So when is it that the blame switches? We all make mistakes in life, some worse than others. However, there is so much to gain when you own the mistakes and do your best to make things right. I admire those that struggle from such situations and somehow find peace and happiness.
